Hi everyone! Long time, no see.. or talk.. write? Idk haha. But a lot of things along with a lot of people have inspired me lately to revisit my blog. A lot has happened since I’ve last written and I have made many different mind shifts about life. About five months ago I made the decision I wanted to become a better “me”. This has been many years in the coming, and going to be many more years in the making. It started though one morning, I literally woke up, looked in the mirror, and thought to myself… “What are you doing with your life?” No, I don’t mean career wise or education. Everyone has a purpose in this life and I knew that was what I was missing all these years. I was a floundering 20-something year old girl who didn’t know who she was. I’m not going to say now I 100% do, but I am well on my way.
How did I start, you ask? Well, I started with meditation. Pretty simple, but very powerful. I know I’ve mentioned this whole thing before but I never really stuck with it over a long period of time. By that I mean, I make time pretty much every single day whether its 5 minutes or 45 minutes to sit down and meditate. Thanks to my brother I discovered this amazing thing to escape the world and free my mind I guess you could say. It has brought me leaps and bounds. Not only have I seen improvements in my stomach because it is such a stress reliever but (I know it sounds corny) it has opened my eyes to the beauty of life. I’m slowly getting out of my own way, accomplishing more things in life I want to accomplish. Excuses are no longer becoming even an option in my life. I’m no longer so quick to judge people or things. And every time I get a chance to help someone out, I take that opportunity. But, this is a process and it takes commitment.
It’s been hard; it’s not easy to change habits or a mindset, and frankly people are deathly afraid of it. I was at first, and it’s still scary. But, taking action is the first step. If you have followed me in the past you can see through my blog different changes I have already made. But I’ve dedicated more to bettering myself now more than ever. I watch motivational videos (shoutout to Alexi Panos, I love her, check her out she’s awesome), I think daily about what I’m thankful for, and I even wrote in bright red lipstick across the mirror I get ready in front of every morning “I am enough”. It might sound crazy, but it works. You are enough, you just have to truly believe it.
I’m not trying to “preach” this stuff to anyone, but I just want to put it out there how it has positively affected me. I wrote this blog to share my story and help others battling Crohn’s Disease. This is an invisible disease (unless you were to turn us inside out lol) and it is VERY wearing on the mind. Between losing jobs, not being able to complete education, to being scared to go certain places you don’t know where the bathroom is, Crohn’s is an everyday constant battle… They say health is something taken for granted until it is diminished. As Crohnies we’ve all been in states of pretty diminished health and poor quality of life. But, beginning to love myself for me I’ve been able to enjoy every day for what it is and not take other things for granted either.
It’s taken me a while not to be affected by the people around me who say I do nothing or that I sleep all the time or it’s annoying how often I “don’t feel good” and I’m proud to say now, it really has no affect on me at all. Frankly, I don’t care what anyone else thinks, they don’t live in my body. It doesn’t matter what job you have, what car you drive, or how many times you’ve succeeded or failed. Everyone is fighting their own battles in life, as long as you’re moving forward, that’s the best you can do. I know everything I do is enough and I’m not living for anyone else but myself. And you shouldn’t either!
The days (take today for example) where I woke up keeled over in pain for the few hours that I was, I no longer feel bad about taking time for myself and laying on the couch being a “lazy bum”. I don’t feel bad for myself on these days, because yeah it could be a lot worse. Instead now I find ways to still try to enjoy this time. Put a funny movie on to have a laugh, cuddle my dogs, or sit outside and listen to the birds if it’s a nice day. And also, I keep the thought in my head: when I do feel good there’s absolutely no stopping me. I’m finally going for the things I want in life and I don’t just keep my eyes on my goals; I make sure I am also enjoying each moment as best as I can. That I believe is the most important lesson in life to be learned because we might not be here tomorrow. This lesson has definitely stemmed from my growth of self-awareness. Butttt I don’t want to drag this on too long, even though it was long over-due so I’ll leave ya with that. It’s good to be back sharing my thoughts and hopefully inspiring one or two along the way! I will be back soon! And remember kids, its about the journey, not the destination, so enjoy the hell out of the ride! 😉
p.s. if any wordpress users know how to change their picture on here, that’d be completely awesome if you could share 🙂 I need a little update on this thing!