oooomffff, living the life.

bowels working ecard

Well I was trying to do my English work that was due at midnight but I cannot concentrate and I am having a horrible hot flash.

It all started a few weeks ago, not sure if it’s the season change or stress of school. I don’t think I’m stressed out about school  because I’m doing really good and like it but maybe subconsciously? By “it all started” I mean the exhaustion, countless bathroom trips, and severe stomach pain. I can see it slowly progressing each day. The other night I was up sitting on the toilet for hours and woke up in the morning with such severe stomach pain I had to take a pain pill to get out of bed and force myself to go to my anatomy lab this morning. Thank god I was done at 2:30. I came home and slept for about three hours. It really never ends does it.

Well, got off the phone with my doctor today. He sounded pretty disappointed, just as I was. This was really my last option available right now for treatment and it is clearly not working because I have constant pain. Even when prednisoneecardgoodI feel good, I still have pain. There is a treatment right around the corner but not sure exactly how far that corner is. I don’t know much about it other than it is approved for rheumatoid arthritis and in trials for Crohn’s. We’ll see. Before anything he wants to do a colonoscopy -____- But really before anything we can say good bye to this thin, proportionate face thank you to my 2934838753rd time on prednisone, which started yesterday. Already experiencing hot flashes, moodiness, and insomnia (as you can see it is 2am). And also awaiting my hip and knee replacements at age 30.

It’s constant frustration lately. I haven’t been having much fluctuation in my weight so yes in fact, I look good. Don’t, please, for your own good, ever say the three words “you look good” to a sick Crohnie. WE KNOW! This is in fact an invisible disease meaning unless you are my doctor with a camera up my butt you cannot see this illness. I haven’t been able to eat before 5pm most days without feeling terrible amounts of pain and several potty emergencies in the hour to follow (refer back to my post “Potty Emergencies 101” if you are confused as to what I am talking about…). I can’t even look at food lately. Never ask a Crohnie to finish their meal, or why they are not eating. I don’t care if it is a perfectly cooked filet mignon and a scoop of fluffy garlic mashed potatoes stomach achewith a side of perfectly seasoned mixed vegetables; it is nauseating. Also, don’t force a Crohnie to push themselves harder than they already have. We know what we can and can’t do and we are probably already past our limit of what we should be doing.

I do a lot of nothing lately. Not by choice, but because of this annoyingly life-consuming disease I’ve been blessed with, and the essence behind this whole blog of course. Sometimes I feel like I need to give everyone I meet a detailed medical pamphlet with every little thing drawn out about Crohn’s disease for them to remotely understand. I mean you will never fully understand unless you go through it, as with most situations in life.  But with Crohn’s a stomach ache is not just a stomach ache, “I’m tired” isn’t just “I’m tired”, and in most cases “I don’t feel good” is just a nice way of saying I feel like someone is ripping out my intestines and setting them on fire so try to be at least a little sympathetic or leave me the hell alone.

Crohn’s is indeed a huge pain in the ass, but it isn’t all shitty all the time.. ahah well some of the time. The moral of the story is you don’t know how strong you really are until being strong is the only choice you have. Yeah, it sucks but it could be alllloooot worse. All this talk about different potential cures on Facebook and social media I read all the time is great and all but, I tend to focus on the now, who knows we might not be here tomorrow. So hell, throw a smile on and in between your bouts of excruciating pain and embarrassing potty emergencies find a reason to smile. Laughter is the best medicine. And if you can’t laugh eventually about the weird, awkward situations you will encounter as a Crohnie because they are a lot more frequent than one would think, you’ll go crazy. So I threw in a few pretty funny ecards I found to hopefully get the rest of you Crohnies laughing hopefully at least a little bit!

doing nothing ecard

…said no healthy person ever lol

English can wait till tomorrow. Turning my AC back on because these hot flashes are worse than trying to put makeup on in the dead of summer. Sweet dreams errrrybody.

-xoMichelle

The Inevitable topic of… Poop.

This post is geared towards the people who have to deal with us and our crappy situations. We have to talk about the inevitable. It cannot be avoided, we all poop! Even girls, girls poop too! I know, it’s crazy! And meet someone with Crohn’s disease or UC and poop is just a normal conversation. It is actual the center of our disease. Basically, an easy way to define this disease everyone can better understand is that our bodies are allergic to our poo. Just like there are nut allergies and animal allergies, we have a sort of poo allergy. Yes, it is a gross thing, I never said it wasn’t but it’s life. Our body’s immune system attacks our intestines leaving us with severe pain, exhaustion, bloody stool, diarrhea, and inflammation. These are just a few of the symptoms we have to treat because as of right now there is no cure.

As you can tell this can be an embarrassing disease. Especially dealing with it in public, in a relationship, at college, and around friends. We know our way around every bathroom within a ten mile radius and when we need to go, get out of our way!

Thankfully my support system with this is huge. I have a group of girlfriends who have gone the extra length in helping me get through accidents I’ve had and know the extent of when I have to go. My mom is also the queen of getting me through this. A huge way she has gotten me through this is humor. It’s okay to laugh about it. You actually need to laugh about it.

A funny story I’ll share is the first time I ever had an enema. If you don’t know, an enema is when a water solution is flushed through your intestines via your bum hole. It is used for a few different reasons, one being to clean you out and relieve constipation. Well, I had to have one done and as it was my first time I did need some help. I am laying on my left side as my mom holds up the bag with a long tube connected to it. “Mom! Come on! Don’t look!” as I stick this thing up my butt. This is a kind of absurd concept to most people. But, she is standing in the bathtub hiding behind the shower curtain holding the bag up so gravity pulls the solution down. As she stands there she starts histerically laughing which causes me to hysterically laugh. You are supposed to hold this in you for as long as you can, which is near to impossible as you’re uncontrollably laughing. Needless to say I didn’t hold it for as long as I should’ve but in the end the experience made me realize it is important to laugh. To this day we laugh about this time and my next enema wasn’t nearly as bad!

My rock.

It’s okay to be embarrassed as well; however, you should never feel you can’t share with your loved ones. It is our body and we need to talk about it; take control of your life. A lot of people cannot deal with being in a relationship with someone who has this disease, I have experienced this first hand. There is nothing wrong with that but we have enough of a hard time dealing with it ourselves we don’t need those people to bring us down. Break the ice with a new friend, old friend, girlfriend, or boyfriend about your disease however you are most comfortable with whether that be a joke or serious conversation. They need to know it isn’t who we are but it is a huge part of us. Be confident!