Mentality is Everything

Since I’m done with school for a couple weeks and killed this past academic year with my bare hands ;p I decided I’d write a little bit. I do kind of miss it; not writing as much as I used to. But, I can’t believe I have actually gotten through a WHOLE school year without getting sick or being hospitalized. I keep emphasizing to the people around me that “I’m done, I finished a year!” and they’re probably getting annoyed at this point like “okkkkeyyy we get it, you’re done” lol. But it is a huge deal for me. The past five years of my life (and throughout highschool), I’ve struggled with school. I could never figure out how to not get overwhelmed by a heavy work load and I never thought that I could actually do it. “You’re going to get sick” was in the back of my mind ALL the time. And when I saw all the time, I mean at pretty much every waking second. The struggle was real and this was probably the worst mindset a person could have. After having to withdraw twice from school, several hospitalizations/in home IV treatments per year I was pretty much at a loss when it came to my education. It didn’t help that the schools were not at all understanding especially Westfield State, I kind of wish I took more action with it but at the time I was so sick I didn’t even care. Regardless I decided I needed to do something with my mindset. I first started with encouraging myself (even if I didn’t believe myself I knew eventually I would) and finding a stress outlet, which was the gym. I think that’s truly when things began to change for me. Stress is hands down my #1 trigger to a flare up. It only takes me about two or three weeks of being stressed out to start noticing significant symptoms including- energy loss, bloody bm, canker sores in my mouth, severe joint pain, bloating, etc. Although these past final weeks of school have sent me into a little flare from the stress, I have changed my mindset to control my stress levels and it’s finally paying off. I have a 4.0 gpa to show for it!

The gym and living a healthy lifestyle has no doubt changed my life. Not only do I see myself physically looking healthier and stronger, my mentality is as strong as it’s ever been. It hasn’t been as easy as it sounds though. It’s taken me a few years to figure everything out and I’m still a work in progress (mentally and physically). Some people may call me a bit obsessed with the “fit lifestyle” but I just loFullSizeRender (7)ok at it as dedication. Yes I log my food, and yes I count calories/macros, but how else do you learn? It also allows me to make sure I’m getting the amount of food and nutrients I need to stay healthy. And not to mention keeps my brain occupied with something I really enjoy doing.  Being able to channel my stress, or anyone being able to do that in a healthy manner is one of the keys to happiness. I am now successfully able to block out negativity (which I was terrible at before) and it feels so damn good!

Not only is changing your diet/focusing on a healthy lifestyle and exercising is a good stress reliever but it can be beneficial to IBD itself. I’ve noticed that even when my body might not feel that great, my mind still does which is vital in living a somewhat normal life with Crohn’s. Your mind is everything.. Exercise also tends to calm down my digestive system and allows me to IMG_1613have normal bm! Craziness. I tend to not have the best appetite, so when I exercise it also keeps me hungry and my metabolism in check!  Another benefit of exercise is the benefit it has on your bones. Us Crohnies have most likely been on an obscene amount of steroids, which can long-term lead to breakdown of bones (osteoporosis), so this can be a great preventative method for IBD patients.

Well as this school year comes to a close I am a happier, more accomplished me 🙂 Not only am I closing a chapter but I am opening a new one and starting the nursing program at my school in the Fall. Life is only today, and you can accomplish anything if you really want it. Not to say there aren’t obstacles but take it day by day, moment by moment and you’d be surprised at how much you can achieve!

 

-xoMichelle

The struggle of “sick season”

Prednisone was beginning to be a miracle worker, per usual. I literally felt like super woman lol It was so so soooo nice to be in the gym full force and have energy to get up in the morning and last throughout the day. Today was just one giant step backward. That is, if this is my flare breaking through the prednisone or the dreaded viruses/bugs you see this time of the year. I know that it is inevitable to have days like this, but it was such a drastic change from how I was feeling. That is, after I weighed myself and totally freaked out at the number 93 that popped up in front of my feet. I even got off and back on to make sure it wasn’t just the scale. Nope, it was the truth. I’ve lost about 7lbs in just a few days.

I’ve consistently been on 40 mg of prednisone for about two weeks now. Side affects, oh the side affects. Just noticed my face getting puffy 😦 and my mood swings have been so frustrating to not only me but the people around me. It’s so strange how medication can affect your head. I am like a crazy person one minute and the next I’m in the best mood ever and I know exactly when it’s the medicine. I have tried to control it by recognizing when I get that crazy feeling (I know it sounds weird) and then taking a step backward whether that be just stop talking/doing what I’m doing or explaining to the person I am being crazy towards/around the dealio. It’s hard being on prednisone around people who don’t understand how big it’s affects are lol They don’t believe it can actually make you angry, emotional, super happy, or anything. It’s hard getting anyone to understand anything about the medications we take, how we feel, etc. But all we can do is try.

Although my rapid weight loss I’m not sure if this is my Crohn’s acting up more or a bug/virus. My mom was sick last night and today and I started feeling terrible today. I still have no appetite, to the point where I need to force myself to eat. I know it’s not the healthiest thing (which drives me crazy because eating good and being fit/healthy is so important to me) but when I can’t eat I try to drink a lot of my calories whether it be 550 calorie drinks from Starbucks, juices, or even soda. I am at the point where anything I can tolerate I need to eat. If I lose anymore weight I could be looking at a hospital stay. One thing I’ve been good at this time around is staying hydrated. I cooked a bunch of food tonight thinking I’d eat more if it was already made (it works most of the time) but healthy food just rips up my stomach, ugh. It’s so frustrating. I needed to eat something desperately tonight. I had to resort to McDonald’s chicken nuggets and French fries. I still to this day have no idea how or why that is the only food I can eat when I’m really flaring up but if you have Crohn’s or colitis you know you will do or eat anything you can to keep weight on. Because losing too much weight usually, as I said earlier, results in a hospital stay.

Well I had to take a pain pill because of my stomach pain tonight -___- And it made me feel pretty weak, Weak enough to not want to keep typing lol but my stomach pain is better and I’m a little hungry so I’m gunna try to eat something. Apologies that this post was pretty damn boring but sometimes I just needa write for myself. Sweet dreams everybody 🙂 Happy Tuesday.

-xoMichelle