Celebrate Your Wins!

opportunity

I told my self August was going to be my month. I told myself I am giving myself till the last day, my birthday, to take some huge steps forward. I kind of put in my head nothing was going to stop me and my fear of it all was just going to fuel me, for real this time. As you all know I’ve tried to go down many paths and majority of those roads I’ve taken have become dead ends due to having Crohn’s Disease and the unpredictable and unavoidable complications it can produce.

Well, although there were a few disappointments this month (you know, life happens) the few good things that have happened completely over shadowed them. The month started out with my car breaking piece by piece. I’ve never been approved for loans or anything on my own, my parents always had to cosign or sign for me. I have never owned anything myself.. Mostly due to not being able to hold down a good job to make enough income. But, I’ve been working hard for the vodka company and getting enough hours to help me out. I’ve also been working hard to build up my credit and it definitely paid off. I was able to sign a lease for a brand new 2016 Toyota Corolla Sport August 2nd! As soon as the sales woman, who was awesome btw, told me I was approved I wanted to jump out of the chair 😀

That week I decided to finally give a potential mentor in the real estate world a call. Needless to say, I can’t wait to work with her. She isn’t only awesome at what she does, she’s a suuuper nice person. The next step I took was signing with a Real Estate company in my town, Real Living. I had my first little session tonight after signing all the papers with the manager and I can’t wait to get going! This is a job that does take a lot of persistence, time, and discipline but I honestly think it’s the perfect job for me. Having the freedom being a real estate agent gives me, I don’t have the fear of being fired or missing work because I’m sick. I can work from home if need be. I couldn’t be more excited for my future! Oh, I also got approved for my second piece of investment property! Time to flip a house!! Woohoo!

I’m not telling you all of this to brag, at all, I’m very far from where I want to be but simply because sometimes you just have to celebrate your wins in life. Actually, you should do it all the time. As many failures as I have I’ve never really looked at them as failures, it was kind of a normal thing for me (in the least depressing way possible lol), I’d just say to myself “on to the next” and picked up and moved on. Now that I’m really working towards something I really love, I’m humbled but excited.

Never be afraid to share your successes with family, friends, and even the rest of the world! Not only will it keep you on your path to success but it may even fuel someone else to pursue something they love as well. And always try to find the opportunities and possibilities in your failures, because I promise you they are there! It is though, time to get back to work 🙂 Happy Tuesday friends!

-xoMichelle

 

You Are Enough

Hi everyone! Long time, no see.. or talk.. write? Idk haha. But a lot of things along with a lot of people have inspired me lately to revisit my blog. A lot has happened since I’ve last written and I have made many different mind shifts about life. About five months ago I made the decision I wanted to become a better “me”. This has been many years in the coming, and going to be many more years in the making. It started though one morning, I literally woke up, looked in the mirror, and thought to myself… “What are you doing with your life?” No, I don’t mean career wise or education. Everyone has a purpose in this life and I knew that was what I was missing all these years. I was a floundering 20-something year old girl who didn’t know who she was. I’m not going to say now I 100% do, but I am well on my way.

How did I start, you ask? Well, I started with meditation. Pretty simple, but very powerful. I know I’ve mentioned this whole thing  before but I never really stuck with it over a long period of time. By that I mean, I make time pretty much every single day whether its 5 minutes or 45 minutes to sit down and meditate. Thanks to my brother I discovered this amazing thing to escape the world and free my mind I guess you could say. It has brought me leaps and bounds. Not only have I seen improvements in my stomach because it is such a stress reliever but (I know it sounds corny) it has opened my eyes to the beauty of life. I’m slowly getting out of my own way, accomplishing more things in life I want to accomplish. Excuses are no longer becoming even an option in my life. I’m no longer so quick to judge people or things. And every time I get a chance to help someone out, I take that opportunity. But, this is a process and it takes commitment.

It’s been hard; it’s not easy to change habits or a mindset, and frankly people are deathly afraid of it. I was at first, and it’s still scary. But, taking action is the first step. If you have followed me in the past you can see through my blog different changes I have already made. But I’ve dedicated more to bettering myself now more than ever. I watch motivational videos (shoutout to Alexi Panos, I love her, check her out she’s awesome), I think daily about what I’m thankful for, and I even wrote in bright red lipstick across the mirror I get ready in front of every morning “I am enough”. It might sound crazy, but it works. You are enough, you just have to truly believe it.

I’m not trying to “preach” this stuff to anyone, but I just want to put it out there how it has positively  affected me. I wrote this blog to share my story and help others battling Crohn’s Disease. This is an invisible disease (unless you were to turn us inside out lol) and it is VERY wearing on the mind. Between losing jobs, not being able to complete education, to being scared to go certain places you don’t know where the bathroom is, Crohn’s is an everyday constant battle… They say health is something taken for granted until it is diminished. As Crohnies we’ve all been in states of pretty diminished health and poor quality of life. But, beginning to love myself for me I’ve been able to enjoy every day for what it is and not take other things for granted either.

It’s taken me a while not to be affected by the people around me who say I do nothing or that I sleep all the time or it’s annoying how often I “don’t feel good” and I’m proud to say now, it really has no affect on me at all. Frankly, I don’t care what anyone else thinks, they don’t live in my body. It doesn’t matter what job you have, what car you drive, or how many times you’ve succeeded or failed. Everyone is fighting their own battles in life, as long as you’re moving forward, that’s the best you can do. I know everything I do is enough and I’m not living for anyone else but myself. And you shouldn’t either!

The days (take today for example) where I woke up keeled over in pain for the few hours that I was, I no longer feel bad about taking time for myself and laying on the couch being a “lazy bum”. I don’t feel bad for myself on these days, because yeah it could be a lot worse. Instead now I find ways to still try to enjoy this time. Put a funny movie on to have a laugh, cuddle my dogs, or sit outside and listen to the birds if it’s a nice day. And also, I keep the thought in my head: when I do feel good there’s absolutely no stopping me. I’m finally going for the things I want in life and I don’t just keep my eyes on my goals; I make sure I am also enjoying each moment as best as I can. That I believe is the most important lesson in life to be learned because we might not be here tomorrow. This lesson has definitely stemmed from my growth of self-awareness. Butttt  I don’t want to drag this on too long, even though it was long over-due so I’ll leave ya with that. It’s good to be back sharing my thoughts and hopefully inspiring one or two along the way! I will be back soon! And remember kids, its about the journey, not the destination, so enjoy the hell out of the ride! 😉

-xoMichelle

p.s. if any wordpress users know how to change their picture on here, that’d be completely awesome if you could share 🙂 I need a little update on this thing!

 

WHHYYYYY

Okay, so my title was a little dramatic. But why not. And this isn’t a negative response, it’s actually a liberating one. Why do people think so much, why do people care so much what others think, why not just live your life how YOU want it. I think that is the only way to ultimate happiness. Recognizing this for me has been a big step. People are so afraid of disappointing others, they’re so afraid of what “might happen”. The only person in life you should be truly worry about disappointing in your life is yourself. It is inevitable you will disappoint important people to you, there is no way around it. But they will get over it. Freaking live your life and stop being so afraid. Go back to school at age 50, go for that interview you didn’t think you’d ever have a chance at, talk to that handsome/gorgeous intimidating guy/girl you see everyday at work or in the gym, stand up to that prick boss of yours. If you don’t do it, you will never know. And you know what’s worse than a potential rejection, the constant wonder of “what if”.

Don’t be afraid to fall in love, take a chance, risk everything, go for it. If it doesn’t work out at least you tried and you can move on without wondering. Work towards a goal, set your mind to something. Don’t let life make you it’s bitch, make life YOUR bitch. Do with it what you want and if someone doesn’t like that then they can go back into their little hole of content. We all want to be content with life, when we all should be striving for ultimate happiness. Of course, life isn’t all rainbows and butterflies but it’s what you make of it that matters.

I have recently noticed my whole life I have been looking for something or someone to make me happy. When my key to happiness was right in front of me, sounds corny (well it kind of is, but I like being corny sometimes), and I mean it wasn’t literally in front of me but it was me, myself. You can’t find happiness unless you find it in yourself first. I’ve read a lot of blogs and a lot of articles and a lot of all that stupid stuff on Facebook everyone reposts about how awesome it is finding love a boyfriend and yadda yadda and it all brought me to this conclusion. If I can’t be happy with myself, I won’t be happy with anyone I don’t care who it is no matter how much of that shit I read.

I’ve never had set priorities and goals in my life that I acted on and I often blamed it on my disease. Not that it hasn’t caused me a substantial amount of frustration and made me put my life on hold at some points. Obstacles are inevitable with such an unpredictable disease, in fact life in general you will always have them. I have always laughed about having Crohn’s and stayed positive about it but I have let it control some of my long term goals. I was afraid to go back to school and I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to get through nursing school without getting sick. I was ultimately afraid of success because there was a chance of failure. I wanted it, but I was too focused on the risk and not the potential reward. I have reached a point where I have real goals and I will reach them, even if it takes me longer than most. Yeah it’s nice to hear someone tell you they are proud of you, but an even better feeling is confidently being able to say “Yanno what, I’m really proud of myself”.

I have never been so happy with myself as an individual, ever. Yeah things go wrong but when they do me being happy with myself allows me to get over it and continue on. I’m not saying my life isn’t pretty frustrating right now because it is but I’ve accepted the fact even when it is there’s still no reason not to be happy about something. Right now the most important “goals” in my life are school and sounds mediocre but staying fit. This is one thing I know I can have control over and it is really an awesome feeling, especially doing this while battling a chronic illness. My quality of life right now, in this moment, is all that matters and I know I can optimize that by staying physically fit.

But anyways back to WHYYYY (lol). I just don’t understand it anymore. Life is one big leap of faith. There’s no need to complicate life. If you want to say something, say it! If you want to do something, damnit, do it! Stop hesitating. Don’t do something if you don’t want to. Be a little selfish sometimes. Put your trust in someone, they might surprise you. Hell, you might surprise yourself! But also on a side note, never forget the little things in life. Do something nice for someone else, compliment someone, make someone smile. We feed off of each other’s energy, and don’t you feel good when you’re the reason someone might be a tad bit happier today? Just let go and stop being so concerned with what bad might happen, because you never know it might just end up being the best thing that has ever happened to you.

life

Annnnd that’s a wrap on my corny, inspirational, venting sesh. Take it for what you want 😉

-xoMichelle